I think most of us have felt powerless at some point in our lives, as
though nothing we do makes a difference. I think most of us have had the
thought, what can I do? I am just one person.
Many of us think that in order to make a difference we have to do a big
thing and that we either don’t have the resources to do so, or the skills, or
the wherewithal.
There’s a proverb in Swahili that says, "Haba na haba . . . Hujaza
Kibaba.” Drop by drop . . . the bucket fills. This proverb reminds us that,
no matter how small, every drop counts in the filling of a bucket.
There’s a story I heard a long time ago about a woman who was very
sad. I don’t remember quite why - she lived alone, and it might have been
that she had lost her husband or family, but whatever the reason, no one
had been able to cheer her up and her friends had stopped coming around.
And because she was depressed, her house and property had fallen
into disarray. Dirt and grime covered everything, weeds choked the garden
and poked through her pathways. But her sadness sapped her energy, and
she just didn’t care anymore.
One morning, when she opened the front door of her cottage to bring in
the bottle of milk that the milkman left for her every few days, she saw lying
on her dusty, dirty door mat a beautiful red rose. She glanced around to see
who might have left it, and seeing no one, she picked it up and brought it
inside.
It was so lovely that something inside of her stirred, and she decided to
put it in a vase. She went to the kitchen and opened the cupboard where
she kept her flower vases and pulled one out.
It was filthy.
So, she washed it, then filled it with water and put it on the kitchen table.
For some reason, it didn’t seem like the right place, so she wandered down
her hallway and decided that the small table in the hall with the mirror on
the wall behind it would be just the place. The mirror would show the
reflection of the rose.
But… the hall table was covered with dust and grime and old magazines
and other litter, and the mirror was so dirty, no reflection could possibly be
seen. So, she retrieved some rags, glass cleaner and wood polish and
cleaned the hall table and the mirror behind it and threw the trash away.
And the rose looked so beautiful there.
But the light was a bit dim in the hallway, so she found her step ladder
and cleaned the glass of the hall light until it shone… and the light was now
so bright that she could see that the hall carpet was very dirty. So, she took
the carpet outside and beat the dust out of it, and swept her hallway and
mopped it until it was bright and shiny, and oh my did the rose look so
beautiful now!
But the walls - eeek! - they were kind of brown, and so she scrubbed
them clean and that led to cleaning the coat rack by the door, sweeping the
front stoop, opening up some windows and cleaning them….
And in this way, one thing at a time, she cleaned and restored her home
until everything shone and her heart became full again. She baked a cake
and took it to her neighbor’s house, restored her friendships and
rediscovered the joy of living. All from a single rose.
The gift of that rose was a drop.
While we might think that this story is an oversimplification, I have heard
and read true stories where the smallest gesture of kindness made a huge
difference in someone’s life. A smile that changed someone’s day. A
question that allowed a cashier to be seen and feel cared for. A ride that
allowed someone to make it in time for a job interview.
I’ve also experienced them. When I was in junior college, a woman in
one of my classes, who I barely knew - we’d been assigned the same group
in some class discussions - asked if she could gift me an experience. I
agreed, and to my surprise she took me to her hair salon, where a man who
cut hair for models was taking a break from the hectic pressure of that life.
He kept evening appointments for a few of his favorite clients, of which
she was one, and I, as her guest, was his client for that evening. He gave
me a haircut - it was one of a simple cut, nothing dramatic, but the kind so
that when you are turned around in the chair to face the mirror, you wonder
who you’re looking at.
That haircut changed my whole outlook. It planted a tiny seed of
possibility in me. Such a small thing. Some scissors and skill, the kindness
of that woman.
Now we could say that this gift was due to the state of my hair at the
time, but she later told me that she saw underneath my introverted exterior,
a diamond, and that her gift was intended to help me begin to see the
same.
Her gift to me was a drop.
Sometimes we’re so busy thinking we’re too small to do anything
substantial that we forget how powerful a small thing can be and how much
of a difference it can make.
A friend of mine told me how she was on a coffee run for the crew at her
job and on her way to the coffee shop, she found a $100 bill on the ground.
Nice, right? And then when she arrived at the coffee shop there was a man outside, likely un-homed, who didn’t ask her for money, but asked her if she would
buy him a cup of coffee. She stopped, looked at him, and inspired, said that
no she wouldn’t. And then she handed him the $100 bill and said, “But how
about you buy yourself a cup of coffee?”
I can’t help but think that her lovely gesture helped him to feel an
abundance he likely hadn’t felt in some time, for his response to her
generosity was not to covet the money and disappear, it was, “May I buy
you a cup of coffee, then?”
This was a drop.
And we have no idea how this simple act of generosity rippled out into
the world.
I share these stories with you as examples of the power of little things. It
often doesn’t take much - a smile, a compliment, a statement of belief in
another person’s abilities to make a huge impact on someone else’s day,
week or life. We think we don’t make a difference, we think we don’t matter,
but we do.
At the close of every Unity of San Antonio service, we end with the
reminder that each of us matters. That what we do, how we live, what we
say - makes a difference.
But sometimes we don’t feel that way, do we? Sometimes we feel too
tired, too discouraged, too overwhelmed by events in our lives… and we
just think, I’m only one person. Does my smile really make a difference?
Does my small act of kindness really make a difference?
You know, it’s all the little things that truly make or break a relationship -
the little transgressions and the little acts of kindness and love repeated
again and again that make a difference. The strongest relationships are
built from little things that build trust and safety over time.
So yes. What we do does make a difference. And it’s a difference that
ripples out into the wide world. And the more present we become, the more
conscious and intentional we become, the more that we can intentionally
affect both ourselves and the world in positive ways.
I had someone walk up to me on the street, someone I had met only
briefly months prior, and she said, “What you told me changed my life.” I
had no memory of what I had said, but clearly it had made a huge impact
on her life.
I’m sure most of us can look back and remember small things, both kind
and unkind, that made a huge impact on us. Some of which we might carry
around still to this day.
Each one a drop.
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