At the recent memorial service for Kara Denkewalter, her mother Jane gave a touchingly honest tribute to her daughter's life. She also read her daughter's favorite poem.
Tribute to Kara, by Jane Denkewalter
K = Kind A = Amor R = Ruthless A = Amore
As I reflect on her life, I realize that my daughter was not for this world. She came here to teach us patience, to love unconditionally, to forgive, and to always stand up for those who were down.
We didn't get her point - that success is not about wealth but about love and giving of your heart.
Instead of getting the point, we tried to impose our ways on her. She was always the square peg trying to fit in a circular world. When she would try to fit in this world, she caused shock waves that ruffled feathers and all stood back and put arms up to block the shock. She didn't change us, but she also didn't allow us to change her. The last minutes with her were such a situation; she woke up the whole household and we all growled at her.
Kara touched the lives of many, but the majority were those society deemed unworthy. Most of her friends, from infants to elderly, were the poor and the broken-hearted. We pushed and tried to make her pick what we thought to be the winners, but she would not hear it.
I can recall when the war in Iraq started, my son Marcell wanted to join the Marines. We were against his doing so. Fred said, "If you want to serve your country, do it wisely. Pick a safer branch."
Kara was all for her brother's idea and stated that as soon as she was of age, she would also join.
I tried to reason with her, but her comment was, "Both of you [her father and I] served your country. If all parents thought as you and the children listened, who would defend our country?"
Mother Teresa was her idol, as is mine. Following is one of Kara's favorite poems in tribute to Mother Teresa.
Anyway
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
Ponder on these words and live them. One more thing I ask is that you care your friends, family and enemies. Protect their safety. Learn from this tragedy.
